Stay With Me
by hma1010
Summary: Sometimes forever isn't a very long time...
1. May

**A/N- Hey all! This is a story that I have been working on (mostly mentally ha!) since March. Most of the chapters are written and actually the last chapter is already complete! This will be 9 chapters (10 if I think an epilogue is needed) so I hope you will stay with me on this! I will be updating regularly! I hope you enjoy and review to let me know your opinions!**

**Also, when I began this obviously Cory had still been alive. Finn is written into this story, though he is not a main character. Is anyone opposed to Finn remaining in the fic? I can easily take him out if it will offend, just let me know!**

**-I do not own anything from Glee.**

* * *

Seven years after Blaine had joined Kurt in New York, the boys found themselves in completely different paths than either of them could have imagined. After Kurt had graduated from NYADA, he found that although he still enjoyed performing and going on auditions for small roles in off-Broadway musicals, he could never quite get away from working his way up at and eventually landed himself a job working as a writer for the actual magazine. Now at twenty-six, he got to judge outfits and styles, go to fashion week not only in New York, but Paris and Milan too, he was absolutely where he never thought he'd be but exactly where he knew he belonged.

Blaine, on the other hand, had found that although NYADA was a great school that he enjoyed being at, after a summer job at a music camp for young children, his dream of being a musician transformed to a passion that he wanted to share and develop in others. After much discussion with Kurt, writing pros and cons list (thanks to Kurt), he had transferred to NYU with a major in elementary education and a minor in music performance. At twenty-five, he was the music teacher at an exclusive private school in Brooklyn.

The boys lived in a small, but comfortable, apartment that was loft-style. The floor plan was open and their bed was on a platform that they used a ladder to get to. It was beautifully decorated (even without working at Vogue, Blaine never thought it would be anything less then gorgeous) in light colors that gave an airy feel and opened the place up.

Though they were not where they had planned to be when they were thinking about their futures back in high school, both men loved where their lives had taken them and loved each other. The only set back to where they were, were Blaine's parents. Without his decision to follow his parents into the white-collar world of business or becoming a lawyer or doctor, they were unwilling to support him after he graduated. Blaine was never surprised by their decision; it had been the same for Cooper when he had moved to California to pursue acting. The Anderson's just could never understand the arts world and were unwilling to get on board with their sons choosing that path. When Blaine moved in with Kurt, communication between him and his parents became strained. They could never fully accept his sexuality, but now that he was living with another boy, well it was more than they could handle.

Even with the lack of support from his parents, Blaine loved Kurt and loved Kurt's family who eagerly accepted him as one of their own, and the two boys made due with what they had.

**MAY**

It was not unusual for Blaine to come home with pain in his back. He was never one to run out of energy, something that exhausted Kurt to even think about, so he was often standing or dancing all day while at school. Because of this, at first Kurt didn't even think twice when he started coming home finding Blaine lying down with a heating pad on his lower back.

"Blaine, honey, where are you?" Kurt asked as he walked into the apartment; it was silent and dark.

"Up here." His voice was muffled but came from their bed.

Kurt took his shoes off, put them on the rack, and then quickly made his way up the ladder, only to find his boyfriend face down on their bed with a heating pad covering his back.

He smiled, "Too much dancing today?"

Blaine turned his head to look at him and gave a pained smile, "I couldn't even do much, my back started locking up early this morning. I had to do most of the lessons from the piano bench."

Kurt's eyebrows furrowed as he walked to sit on the edge of the bed, his hand rubbing just above where the heating pad stopped, "Did you pull a muscle maybe?"

"I don't know."

He leaned down and placed a kiss on his temple before moving the heating pad to the bed and straddled the back of Blaine's thighs. He began massaging his back to work out any kinks, "What am I going to do with you falling apart on me? I didn't realize I was dating such an old man."

"Hey! You're older than me." Blaine huffed.

"And yet my back is perfectly fine."

"Yea well, if my back is going to go out first, that means you're going to be the one to lose his hair first."

Kurt gasped, "You may lose your hair but that is never going to happen to me."

Blaine laughed, "Ok, I'll do all the old stuff then and you can be my hot cougar gold digging boyfriend then. That means you'll still have to like me when I can't walk and am always in pain; when I'm bald, when I need to wear diapers…do you think you can handle that?"

"Well as a gold digger that means once you die I get all your money and can move on to someone young and hot right?" He teased.

Blaine's hand came back and playfully swatted his knee, "Not funny."

Kurt stopped rubbing his back for a moment and leaned up to kiss his cheek, "I will love you no matter how old and wrinkle-y you get."

"Promise?"

"Forever."

Blaine sighed and closed his eyes contently.

Kurt found this scene happening more and more as the weeks went on. He would come home to Blaine in bed, and sometimes on the couch because he was in too much pain to make it up to their bed. Kurt would either give him a massage or draw a warm bath to try and help alleviate the pain. Though he would temporarily find relief, the dull ache began to morph into a sharper pain and eventually, about three weeks after it began, it reached a point that Kurt could no longer ignore.

Blaine's alarm rang out and pulled Kurt from his sleep. Although they tended to leave for work at the same time, Blaine liked to wake up earlier than Kurt so that he could shower and get ready. Kurt, on the other hand, liked to lie in bed, slowly waking up, and then get ready while Blaine made them breakfast.

He stretched the muscles in his arms and legs and as Blaine sat up, he heard a groan from the other boy. Although this would not seem abnormal, hearing your partner groan as they woke up and faced another day of work when they'd much rather stay in bed and sleep, this was not normal for Blaine. Since his major change, he had loved every second of teaching, including waking up at 6am to get ready for the day. Kurt had never seen someone so excited to get ready for work, even he, who loved his job, did not find waking up to be pleasurable. Because of this, Kurt opened his eyes too look at his boyfriend who was sitting at the edge of his side of the bed with his hands holding his lower back.

"Are you ok?" Kurt asked, concerned.

He took a deep breath, "I'm…yea, I'm fine." He nodded his head a little even though he was facing away from Kurt.

"You're back is still hurting?"

"Yea, it's pretty bad today."

Kurt sat up and came behind him, a leg on both sides of him so that Blaine's back was resting into his front. He put his hands between them and started kneading his lower back with his thumbs while he rested his head on Blaine's shoulder.

"Maybe it's time to see a chiropractor?"

Blaine moaned a little when Kurt hit a particularly painful spot, "No, I'm ok."

"Blaine, you must have really messed something up to be in this much pain. Carole had a back problem last year, threw it out I think, and was stuck on the couch for a week, she said the chiropractor really helped."

"It's probably nothing."

Blaine groaned from the pain.

"Well it's definitely not nothing." He pointed out.

"I just…I don't know, they freak me out."

"Chiropractors?" Kurt smiled a little, "What freaks you out about a chiropractor?"

Blaine moaned again, "Just…I don't know it just seems unnatural to me and I'm scared I'm going to be paralyzed or that…I don't know it's just freaky."

"I've been to one before, it feels really good. If you're so scared I'll come with you and hold your hand."

"I'm not scared."

"You sound scared." He teased lightly.

"I'm not—I need to get ready."

"Fine, but we'll talk about this when I get home tonight."

"Of course."

Kurt smiled and kissed him when Blaine turned to him also smiling, though he could see the pain in his eyes. "I love you." He said as he backed away to lay back down.

Blaine's smile was a little wider as he began to stand up, "Prom—"

He never got to finish.

As he stood and went to take a step, Blaine promptly fell to the ground with a grunt.

Kurt quickly got off the bed and knelt next to him, "Blaine! Are you ok?"

Blaine's eyes were closed tightly, pain obvious on his face. His body was huddled in a ball, "Kurt." It was said through a painful breath.

"What…what happened?" Kurt's hands shook from where they hovered over his boyfriend's body, not sure whether to touch him or not.

After a few deep breaths he slowly uncurled, though not completely, and opened his clenched eyes, "I just…I stood up and when I took a step, I don't know, my foot just didn't go."

Kurt tried to stay calm. He tried not to panic.

"Ok…ok…umm…well, let's get you back to the bed ok? Are you ok to move?"

"Yea…yea, it's just my back but…no worse then before, when I fell it cramped up but it's ok now."

Kurt helped Blaine to his feet, mostly dragging him up, and watched as he attempted to take a step, his feet didn't seem to be following. He stumbled a little, but Kurt held him upright.

"I don't…Kurt what's wrong with my feet?" He looked so scared.

"I'm not sure. Look, we'll just get you back in bed and you can rest for a little while. Try to relax, when you're feeling better though, I'm making an appointment with a chiropractor. Maybe you have a slipped disk or something."

"I can't even make it two step back to the bed, how am I going to make it down the ladder? Through the subway?"

Kurt stood there for a moment looking at his boyfriend's scared face, he kept one arm around his waist to support him but placed the other on his cheek and leaned in to kiss him, "We'll figure this out, ok? Just relax, stressing out won't help."

"Ok," Blaine nodded, "Ok."

"Ok," He nodded a little as well before looking between Blaine and the bed, "First things first," He bent down and picked his boyfriend up, gently, before taking the one step to the bed and lowering him down carefully, "Just rest for a little while, I'm going to call us both out for today and then make some breakfast, ok?"

"Ok…do you think I could have the heating pad?"

Kurt pushed the curls away from his forehead and leaned down to kiss him there, "Of course."

After Blaine was situated, Kurt made a phone call to the chiropractor he had seen, but was told Blaine would need a referral and that they should just go to the doctor first. He called Blaine's primary doctor who couldn't fit him in that day. He told Kurt to just take him into the emergency room since he was in so much pain. Kurt made a quick breakfast of omelets and orange juice and brought them up to Blaine.

"How are you feeling?" He placed the tray of food on the night stand and sat next to Blaine's side.

"Ok, I guess."

"Do you think you can eat?"

Blaine nodded, and with Kurt's help he sat up with pillows propped behind him. They ate quickly and Kurt cleared the plates and glasses, bringing them down to the kitchen, before returning to the bedroom.

"Do you want to try getting down the ladder? I'll bring clothes and you can just get changed down there."

He nodded and allowed Kurt to help him stand. Though his back still had shooting pains, his feet seemed to be cooperating for the moment, though Kurt kept an arm around his waist the entire five feet to the ladder.

"I'll go first just in case you fall."

"Ok."

Kurt began climbing down, Blaine following closely behind. He stood at the bottom and kept both his hands around Blaine's waist as he descended the last few steps. When he was all the way down, he led him to a chair that Blaine was grateful to sit in. Kurt then went back up the ladder to retrieve some clothes.

"Do you have boxers on under those shorts?"

Blaine looked down for a moment, "uh... no."

Kurt returned a moment later handing him deodorant while he sorted the clothes he had. After Blaine put it on, he capped it and placed it on the table.

"I figured you'd want to go with comfortable today, but I brought down jeans too just in case."

"No, you were right. The running pants are good."

Kurt smiled before grabbing a dark grey long sleeved t-shirt and handing it to Blaine who put it on quickly, wincing a little at the pain when he stretched his arms upwards.

"Do you need help with the bottoms?"

Blaine thought for a moment and attempted to stand up, only to quickly fall back into the seat when a sharp pain ran through his back, "Yes." His voice was pained.

"Ok, I'm going to help you lift just a little, then you can sit back down until I get them up again ok?"

Blaine nodded and placed his arms around Kurt's neck for support. He gritted his teeth as Kurt lifted him slightly and tugged his shorts down, he sat back on the chair, naked from the waist down as Kurt pulled his shorts the rest of the way down and off.

"God, this is embarrassing."

Kurt stopped what he was doing, placing the boxers he brought down inside the black pants so that he wouldn't have to move Blaine twice, and looked at his boyfriend, rolling his eyes, "Nothing I haven't seen before."

"No, but you've never had to help me get dressed."

"After the slushy incident I helped you get dressed."

"When? I'm pretty sure my mother would have been highly against that."

"Well when they didn't show up at the hospital, who do you think got you out of the gown and back into your clothes? Mommy dearest never knew."

"I don't remember that."

"You were on so many drugs, I'm not surprised."

Blaine laughed a little and Kurt turned towards him and helped him get into his pants and boxers, once again lifting him slightly to get them up around his waist.

"There, perfect."

Blaine looked at him and brought a hand up to the curls on his head that he was sure were frizzy from sleep, "We need to do something about my hair, and I need to brush my teeth."

Kurt looked at his head for a moment before turning to go into the bathroom. He returned with Blaine's toothbrush, toothpaste, his gel, a brush, and a washcloth. He placed them next to Blaine then made his way to the kitchen, returning with a bowl of water.

Blaine brushed his teeth as Kurt quickly placed some gel in his hair, just enough to tame the frizz that had formed. Once he was finished, Kurt returned all of the items and they were ready to go. The walk down the four flights of stairs in their apartment building was slow and painful for Blaine. Luckily, they were able to quickly hail a cab and within a half an hour of arriving at the hospital, Blaine was being wheeled into a room.

Three hours after their arrival, Blaine had been subjected to an MRI, multiple reflex and stretch tests, a blood test, and a CT scan of his spinal cord.

"I hope we can get out of here soon, I'm starving." Blaine whined.

"You're always starving," Kurt teased but looked down at his watch, "I'll go see if someone can tell us when we can go, it's been a while since anyone has been in here."

Just as Kurt was standing up to find a nurse, a man in a suit with a stethoscope around his neck walked into the room.

"Good afternoon, my name is Dr. Riker," He shook Blaine's hand first and then Kurt's, "I wanted to come by so we can discuss the results of the tests you've had this afternoon, Mr. Anderson."

Kurt watched the man, the way he flipped through the pages of Blaine's chart as if he was reading the information for the first time. Kurt's eyes caught sight of the man's I.D. badge clipped onto his shirt pocket. Though the man standing before him had a receding hairline, he assumed the picture had been taken years ago if his full head of hair and lack of wrinkles meant anything. He began to smile until his eyes fell on the writing on the badge.

Kevin Riker, M.D.

Oncology Department

Kurt's heart dropped and he quickly found Blaine's hand and squeezed it tightly, "What did the results show?" his voice shook and Blaine gave him a questioning look that Kurt ignored, his eyes fixed on the man in front of him.

Dr. Riker cleared his throat and looked between both men, down at their clasped hands, and then to Blaine, "I've looked at all of the results to the series of tests that were run and it seems that the reason for the back pain and numbness in your legs are stemming from a mass located at the base of your spine."

"A mass?" Blaine asked on an exhale of breath and Kurt noticed a tremor in the hand that he was holding.

"Yes. Now, obviously we can't say for sure whether or not this tumor is—"

"Tumor? First you said mass and now you're saying tumor…does Blaine have cancer?"

Dr. Riker's lips tug up at the corners in a grimaced smile, as though he had not intended to use the word that was now echoing in Kurt's head.

_Tumor._

"Any mass located in the body is considered a tumor, but not all tumors are cancerous, either malignant or benign. Unfortunately the only way we will be able to determine this is through a biopsy. I'd like to schedule this for as soon as possible so that we can figure this out quickly in the case that it is serious."

"What is the likelihood that it is serious? That it is cancer?" Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand, he could tell that Blaine was not able to ask these questions for himself right now judging the far away look in his eyes. He'll be his strength.

"As I said, it is nearly impossible to determine this without a biopsy of the mass."

Kurt noted that he had stopped using the word tumor, "But?"

Dr. Riker hesitates, "Based on Blaine's labwork, the shape and formation of the mass, the symptoms he has presented…the likelihood that it is more than just a mass of fatty tissue is quite high. Of course, while we are taking the biopsy we will also attempt to remove the mass, hopefully, no matter what the origin, this will help alleviate the pain and symptoms."

Kurt looks at Blaine, he could hear his own heart beating quickly and the sound of rushing water in his ears. The look on Blaine's face gave him the impression that he felt similarly.

"I'm going to schedule the surgery for later today, I'll have someone come in to let you know the details."

Kurt nods but doesn't look away from Blaine, who is staring at him with fear in his eyes. He barely notices the doctor leaving the room, and while keeping eye contact, stands up and sits at the edge of the bed. Kurt keeps his one hand connected to Blaine's and moves the other to rest against Blaine's cheek.

He smiles a little, "I'm here."

* * *

**See ya soon!**


	2. June

**A/N- Hey, I'm just wondering what you all think of this story...If there isn't a lot of interest I'm thinking about discontinuing it, so just let me know, good or bad! I'd love to know what the general consensus is. **

**-I own nothing from Glee.**

* * *

Kurt stared up at the ceiling; Blaine's soft breathing puffing out against his t-shirt, the only thing interrupting the silence. Kurt was rubbing his hand up and down Blaine's bare back; a twinge of sadness hit him when he touched over the still healing scar on his lower back. He traced the six inch raised skin and thought about the time after the surgery.

_Kurt stood as Dr. Riker appeared in the family waiting area._

"_How did it go? How is he? What's wrong with him?" Kurt rushed out all the questions that had been wrapped around his mind for the past four hours since Blaine had been taken into the operating room._

_Dr. Riker's smile was somehow a reassuring grimace, "Blaine is fine, he is in recovery and you should be able to see him in about forty-five minutes, he's still just waking up."_

"_And the tu…the mass?"_

_He sighed a little, "As you know, we had intended on doing the procedure microscopically; that changed, however, when we realized just how big it was. We had to go in, so unfortunately Blaine will have a larger scar then intended. Now, I sent away the biopsy, so we should know soon what we are dealing with, however because of the size and location of the mass, we were unable to remove it."_

_Kurt stared at him confused, his eyebrows furrowed, "I thought you said that the images showed it was in an ideal location and that it would probably be easy to remove?"_

"_Yes, unfortunately once we were in there it was clear that the mass was wrapped around multiple nerves and blood vessels. Attempting to remove it brought along the high probability that we would've left Blaine paralyzed." _

"_So…" Kurt opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure as to which question to ask first, "What does that mean for Blaine?"_

_Dr. Riker looked away, getting his thoughts together, then back at Kurt, "Right now we wait for the biopsy to come back. Once we have a clear idea of what we are dealing with we can make a plan."_

_Kurt eyed him suspiciously, "You know what it is, don't you?"_

"_I…I can't say for sure, no." He shook his head._

"_You can't say for sure, but you have an idea." It wasn't a question._

"_Yes, I have an idea."_

"_Please…please don't make me wait for these tests results to come back to find out what you already know!"_

_Dr. Riker nodded back towards the seating area Kurt had been sitting in, "Why don't we take a seat."_

* * *

A stray tear fell down Kurt's face as he thought about what the doctor had told him, only to be further confirmed later on with the test results.

Stage three malignant plasmacytoma.

The mass in Blaine's back was in fact a tumor. It was cancer. He was quickly started on a bi-weekly treatment of radiation and chemotherapy. For three weeks Blaine had been getting this treatment and the signs had already begun to show themselves.

Though he luckily did not get sick from the treatments, besides the one time that could have also been the hospital food that he had eaten, his appetite had diminished rapidly. Blaine had always been a grazer. He was one to eat small amounts of food, frequently throughout the day. Now, Kurt was lucky if he could get Blaine to eat two small meals at all. Besides his face, where his jawline and cheekbones were more prominent, one would not notice a difference in him.

It was Blaine's head that gave away the real change. As Kurt ran his hand up to rub Blaine's head, he was met with a distinct lack of hair. After the first week when he started noticing hair on his pillow and started to lose clumps of hair at a time, he had Kurt take care of the problem.

* * *

"_Blaine, I can't."_

_He looked at Kurt with pleading eyes, "Please! It's all going to be gone soon anyway, I can't bear to watch it fall out anymore."_

_They stared at each other for a few moments, Kurt seeing the heartbreak and embarrassment in Blaine's eyes. _

_He nodded, "Ok, I…I'll do it."_

_Blaine didn't smile but he did wrap his arms around Kurt and whisper, "Thank you," in his ear._

_After his head was buzzed as short as possible, Kurt held Blaine while he cried. He held him until Blaine had fallen asleep and then Kurt had slipped out of their bed and went into the bathroom to clean up the mess they had left when Blaine had fallen apart upon looking at himself._

_Kurt cleaned up the hair and then picked up the hair clippers and stared at it for a moment. He quickly brushed away Blaine's hair that had been caught in it and then looked into the mirror at his own hair. With only the thought of the pain on Blaine's face when he saw himself with no hair, Kurt turned on the clippers and brought it up to his head, closing his eyes as he did so._

_Suddenly a hand gripped his wrist, stopping him from reaching his hair, "Kurt, what are you doing?" Blaine's eyebrows were furrowed, concerned._

_Kurt looked at Blaine's reflection through the mirror; their arms still up in the air, the hair clippers an inch from Kurt's hair buzzing loudly in the silence. He slowly lowered his arm and Blaine let it go so that he could turn them off._

"_I…I don't know."_

_Blaine let out a small laugh, it settled Kurt's nerves, "I think you almost just shaved your head."_

_Kurt looked down at the clippers then back up to Blaine's reflection, his eyes wide, "Oh God, I almost just shaved my head."_

_Blaine laughed fully. He grabbed the razor from Kurt's hand and put it on the counter then turned his boyfriend so they were facing each other, his demeanor curious, "What happened?"_

"_I came in here to clean and all I could think about was how sad you were and how much pain I could see in your eyes when you saw yourself with no hair…I…I wasn't even thinking."_

_Blaine smiled and leaned in to give Kurt a kiss. When he pulled back he said, "You were going to shave your head so that I wasn't alone in this."_

_Kurt smiled too, "I mean…not intentionally."_

_Blaine poked him in the side, "Hey!" They both laughed._

_Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine again and hugged him, "I would do anything for you."_

* * *

In the end, Sam had shaved his head to show solidarity. It was enough for Blaine that Kurt would even consider it, but with his head shape, he was glad that Blaine had stopped him.

Blaine still had some patches of stubble, though the majority of his head was soft and hairless. His eyebrows and eyelashes, too, had taken a hit and were slowly thinning. Blaine got in the habit of wearing hats whenever he left their bedroom. Though Kurt told him he had no reason to be, he was incredibly self-conscious about how he looked. Only Kurt, and surprisingly Santana, were able to see him with nothing covering his head, of course besides the doctors.

The notion of how Blaine and Santana had become such good friends was puzzling to everyone in their inner circle. Sometime around Blaine's sophomore year in college, he had taken Santana out after her breakup with Dani, and since then they had been great friends. Kurt had not seen Santana speak to anyone in such a consistently sweet way since she had been dating Britney in high school. Whatever the reason, Kurt was grateful for their friendship because since Blaine's diagnosis, Santana had been a Godsend.

Being that it was so late in the school year, Blaine had taken a leave of absence so that he could be home while he received his treatments. He was still weak and in a severe amount of pain most days, so it worked out that he had enough time saved up to be able to take the time off. Kurt was able to figure out working from home two days a week, while Santana stayed with Blaine the other three.

Santana had proven that being an opinionated hard ass was especially conducive as a talent agent. She worked for a reputable firm and would only take on the artists she deemed the most talented. This position allowed for her plenty of time to work from home, watching videos and listening to recordings of people performing, which she did from either Kurt and Blaine's living room couch or laying next to Blaine on the bed with earphones in as he slept.

Kurt continued to rub Blaine's back soothingly; he hoped that when he woke up from his nap, he would be feeling better. This morning was tough on him and Kurt hoped that the rest of the day would bring Blaine peace.

* * *

_Kurt tried to sooth Blaine's pain. He had given him the strong painkillers the doctor had prescribed, he rubbed his lower back, even the heating pad was doing nothing to dull the ache._

_Kurt stood on the top of the stairs of their bedroom watching his boyfriend curled up on the bed, a grimace on his face and tears falling down his cheeks; he didn't know what else to do._

_He walked over and sat carefully next to Blaine, wiping some of the tears from his face._

"_Blaine? I called Dr. Riker, he said the only other thing we can do is go to the hospital and he said they can start you on a morphine drip."_

_Blaine pushed his face against Kurt's thigh, but only moaned in response._

"_Do you want to do that?"_

_He only shook his head a little that, no, he didn't want to go._

_Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's neck, hoping it was comforting, "What can I do then? I don't know what to do."_

_Blaine pulled back, tears were still running down his face but he looked up at Kurt, "Please, please just lie here with me, I don't want to go to the hospital, please!"_

"_Ok, ok, we can do that, I can do that," He scooted down so he was laying next to Blaine and Blaine rested his head on Kurt's chest; soon he could feel dampness from the tears, "Shh, try to relax." He began rubbing up and down his back in a soothing manner._

* * *

After thirty minutes or so, Blaine's body began to relax and within fifteen minutes Kurt could hear when his breathing had changed.

Now, Blaine began to twitch in a manner Kurt knew meant he was waking up. A few minutes passed before Blaine was lifting his head and blinking tiredly at Kurt.

"Hey. What time is it?" His voice was sleep filled.

Kurt smiled, looking at his phone, "Hi, umm just after four. How are you feeling?"

Blaine sat up and rubbed at his face a little, trying to wake up, "Umm…better, I think."

Kurt sat up too and kissed his bare shoulder, "Good, I'm glad. I was worried there for a bit."

He looked down embarrassed, "I'm sorry about that."

"About what?"

"Just…the crying and whining and all of that."

"Blaine…" He shook his head and stared at him like he was crazy, "You have a tumor in your back and you're currently receiving chemo and radiation therapy, I think you're allowed to whine a little."

Blaine huffed out a laugh, "I guess."

"Do you feel up to maybe watching a movie downstairs on the couch?"

He stretched a little, "Actually, maybe we can go to the movies?" He looked at Kurt hopefully.

"You're sure that wouldn't be too much?"

"I think it might help to get out a little bit. I've been stuck in the house for weeks besides going to the hospital."

Kurt thought for a moment and smiled, "I think that sounds like a great idea…you'll tell me though if it gets to be too much?"

"Of course I will."

* * *

So they went to the movies. Kurt made them take a cab both ways and was sure to watch for any signs that it was too much for Blaine; but in the end, the rest of the day was good. He wasn't sure how many days would be good until Blaine was cured. Or the secret fear he kept hidden and pushed down under so many layers so that his heart didn't hurt so much with it…if he was cured. That wasn't even something he was willing to entertain at this point. The doctor couldn't give a definite prognosis, but he knew that they would know more after the first round of treatments.

For now, Kurt watched each of Blaine's smiles like they were a work of art. He listened to his laughs as though they were a favorite ringtone. Their kisses and intimate moments he treated like their first times. He told his heart that their time wasn't numbered, but he kept count of these moments as if they were.

* * *

**-I hope you liked it! Please let me know, good or bad!**


	3. July

**Hey all! I hope you are enjoying this! Thank you for those of you who let me know that you were, I really appreciated it! I decided that I wouldn't put Finn in the story. No one mentioned a problem with it, but I just decided that that's what I thought was best. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Also, Kurt and Blaine are engaged in this story, but I am using fiancé and boyfriend ****interchangeably. **

**Also, I don't own anything from Glee!**

* * *

The appointment with Dr. Riker didn't go anywhere near as planned and the news was far from reassuring. Even so, they made their way back to the apartment with a new plan that would be set into action the following day.

Kurt helped Blaine up the stairs to their apartment. Where as previously Blaine would have raced him up, would have been sitting on the couch smiling by the time Kurt made it up the four flights, he was now struggling to find the strength to get up each step. Kurt could see how tightly he grasped the banister, placing so much of his weight on it to pull himself up, could see each wince, and hear each intake of breath.

When they finally made it into the apartment, Kurt eased Blaine on to the couch then walked over to stand in front of the ladder leading to their bedroom.

He stared up and clapped his hands together, "First things first, we need to redo the apartment."

Blaine opened his eyes and lifted his head from where it was resting on the back of the couch, "Redo what? Why?"

Kurt walked over to his fiancé and sat with him, pulling him so that Blaine's head rested on his shoulder. He ran his hand up and down the side of his arm, "Well, we need to bring the bed down here for sure...maybe I'll put our desks up there...yea, I think that could work. We could rearrange the couches a little, I think it would fit in that nook."

"Why are we redecorating?" Blaine looked at him confused.

Kurt kissed his forehead, "I know you want to pretend that everything is the same, but you're having more trouble with walking than you were. I don't want to worry about you being stuck up there or falling down."

Blaine blushed, embarrassed, "I'm not...I won't."

"Blaine, you heard what Dr. Riker said, at least for the time being you're going to be weak, that's why he gave you the prescription for the cane. That's not even taking into account the new treatment, which we have no idea how you'll react to. Please just let me do this, it will make me feel better."

Blaine sighed a little from his shoulder but nodded his head, his Buckeye's hat skewing to the side a little. He scooted closer to Kurt, who put his arm around his continuously thinning boyfriend.

"Who are you going to call to help you?"

"I was thinking Sam for sure, you haven't seen him in a while and he is also very strong so it's a win-win."

Blaine huffed out a laugh, "He called me the other day asking to come over so I'm sure he'll be happy to help."

Kurt hugged him a little tighter, "I'll see what Max and Kyle are doing, I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping out," Blaine nodded, Max and Kyle were the only other couple that could possibly rival Kurt and Blaine's relationship and only because they had known each other since childhood, were married, and had a four year old daughter. "Also I was going to see what Santana was doing, I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping if she knew it was for you."

"Don't be jealous because Santana loves me more than you."

Kurt poked him in the side, but smiled, "Believe me, I will never be jealous that Santana loves you the most." He stood up, "Do you want anything, some tea? I'm going to call them now, see if today is a possibility."

"No, if it's ok I think I'm going to just lay down for a while. I'm a little tired."

"Of course." Kurt stood up then helped Blaine into a lying position, taking his hat and laying it on the table. He pulled the throw blanket off the side of the couch and covered him before kissing the top of his head and shutting the lights off. He then walked into the kitchen and made the calls, speaking in a quiet voice, though by that time Blaine had already passed out.

* * *

An hour later, the intercom buzzed and jolted Blaine awake.

"It's just the door." Kurt whispered and patted his blanketed foot and ran to buzz them in and held the door open.

A few moments later, Santana was standing in the doorway.

"Hey reading rainbow, where's mi pequeno Amor?"

Kurt stared at her, blinking.

She rolled her eyes, "Blaine."

"Oh." He opened the door wider so she could come in. With Blaine in sight, Santana didn't give him another look and walked past him and right to Blaine, Kurt closed the door, rolling his eyes.

While Kurt had went to get the door, Blaine had put back on his hat, but when Santana reached him, she pulled it up a little and kissed the top of his forehead where his hair was now completely gone, something she had begun doing the first day she had seen him after he had shaved his head. He had been embarrassed, but she had just tipped his hat, kissed his head, and began a conversation like nothing was different. Kurt would never admit it out loud, but he was immensely grateful for her.

She smiled as she sat next to him, a soft smile that Kurt knew was only for Blaine was on her face, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Blaine attempted a smile. Santana leaned in to hug him, looking past Blaine to where Kurt was standing while doing so, he just shook his head a little and mouthed 'later.'

She had obvious concern on her face, but when she pulled back she was smiling again, "Well, you look like shit."

Blaine just laughed. Kurt joined them, but only ten minutes or so into their conversation, there was a knock at the door.

"Hey Kurt!" Sam greeted when Kurt opened the door, "Someone let me in down stairs." He said as he hugged Kurt.

His eyes softened when he looked towards Blaine, "Hey man!" He moved quickly to sit on the couch across from him, "How're you feeling?"

Blaine smiled a little, "No worse, so that's good I guess."

"Well, you look better than last time I saw you."

"Last time you saw me I was hooked up to chemo." Blaine laughed.

Santana snorted, "Nice."

They all ignored her, instead moving on to discuss Sam's new girlfriend, Jackie, who was either an ice-skater or a gymnast, Sam wasn't entirely sure but thought that it was probably too late to ask now that they'd been exclusive for two months.

"When I meet her, I'll ask her to tell me what she does." Blaine offered as Kurt got up to let who could only be Max and Kyle in.

"Thanks man! I'd like to finally be able to know for sure!"

"This is just another reason I am grateful I am a lesbian…the fact that there are men like you running around this city is terrifying."

Kurt shook his head, laughing, as he waited for the couple to appear from the elevator. What he was not expecting, however, was a four year old to be the first one out and running towards him.

"Uncle Kurt!" Mollie yelled, squealing when Kurt lifted and hugged her.

"Hey Mollie, I wasn't expecting you!" He said this with raised eyebrows, directed to her fathers walking slowly towards the door.

"I am so sorry Kurt! We had a babysitter planned, but she called, like, ten minutes after she was supposed to be at our house saying there was some kind of emergency." Kyle apologized.

"Yea, this is the last time that little B-I-T-C-H gets a job from us! This is the third time this month she's done this!"

Kyle placed a hand on his husband's arm to calm him down, but Kurt just laughed, "Don't worry about it, guys." He then looked at the little girl in his arms, "I'm not sure how much fun uncle Blaine will be, but I know he'll be happy to see you!" He smiled and set her on her feet when she started fidgeting in his arms to get down.

Mollie ran over to Blaine, disregarding the conversation that he, Santana, and Sam were having, and climbed up onto his lap, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug.

"Hi uncle Blaine!" She smiled at him when she pulled away.

"Well hello, beautiful, how are you doing?"

"Good! We went to breakfast this morning!"

Blaine opened his mouth wide, like he was shocked, "Wow! I'm so jealous! Did you have any pancakes?"

While the two began talking, Santana and Sam got up, moving to join the other three adults knowing Blaine was now lost to his "niece." Though they were not blood related to Max or Kyle, Kurt and Blaine had known them since the year that Blaine had moved out to New York and the four had been double dating and in each other's lives since.

"Yes! With chocolate chips!" Mollie exclaimed brightly, "What did you do this morning?"

Blaine thought of the testing, the meeting with the doctor, his nap, "Well I can't say that my morning was better than pancakes with chocolate chips, that's for sure! But uncle Kurt and I took a drive this morning and I had to go to the doctors." He stuck his tongue out in mock disgust.

When Blaine had been diagnosed, the four men had talked about what they would tell Mollie. She saw her uncles at least once a week in some manner, so it was impossible to lie to her about Blaine's diagnosis. They told her as much of the truth as a four year old would need to know, uncle Blaine had cancer, which meant that he was sick. He had to take a lot of medicine that sometimes made him feel sick and tired, but that would help him feel better soon. They left out the _hopefully_ in the last sentence.

"Did he say that you were better?" She asked, concerned.

Kurt had been walking over to the two to make sure they didn't need anything, but stopped when he heard Mollie's question.

"Not yet, but hopefully soon." Blaine smiled, and while Mollie didn't notice anything off about it, Kurt knew that it was a forced, fake one.

"Did he say that you could have your hair back yet?" She asked, seriously.

Blaine laughed at her innocent question and Kurt decided it was a good time to interrupt, "Hey you two," He smiled when they both looked up at him, "Do you need anything?"

Blaine looked to Mollie, "Do you want to pick a movie to watch?"

Mollie perked up and nodded, "Can we watch…umm…the one with the lady and the bag?" She looked at Kurt, expectantly.

Kurt looked to Blaine hoping he could decipher which movie that was. Blaine just smiled and mock whispered, "Mary Poppins."

"Ahh! Lady with the bag, I get it. Sure. We're going to move the couches to the wall by the door, would you guys mind watching it in the lazy boy, though? Just so there is more room to move the rest of the furniture."

Blaine nodded and once Mollie had stood up, Kurt helped Blaine stand and move over to the chair that he only allowed in the home after Blaine had been diagnosed and the doctor recommended the chair for the lumbar support. It was big and brown and ugly, but Blaine knew that even though Kurt would complain about it constantly, it was the most comfortable piece of furniture they owned, and it reminded him of Burt's chair back in Lima.

Once Blaine and Mollie were situated on the chair, a blanket thrown over them and the movie started, Kurt dimmed the lights in the living room area and kissed Blaine before going back to where Santana and Kyle were sliding the mattress down the ladder to Max and Sam's waiting hands.

* * *

Three hours later, the bedroom furniture was completely set up downstairs where Kurt and Blaine's office had been, and the desks were now up in the loft area. Though the apartment looked much smaller with the larger furniture downstairs and taking up floor space, Kurt found that everything still flowed nicely and nothing looked too out of place. While they were putting everything in their final places, Santana had called for pizza and they were now setting up the table to eat.

Kurt walked over to his fiancé and niece, and had to hold in a giggle as to not wake them where they slept cuddled together. One of the perks to Kurt's job at Vogue was being allowed to take home sample products. Though most of these samples were geared towards women, Kurt often brought them home, knowing that Santana, Rachel, or one of his other friends would love to have them. One day, a few months ago, he had brought home a cosmetic kit on the same day that he and Blaine had been set to watch Mollie for the night. Needless to say, she found the kit, and ever since then when she was at their house, she and Blaine would play make up.

Kurt smiled down at the pair and quickly pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. Mollie's hair was in a side ponytail and she had bright pink lipstick on, blue eye shadow that went up to her eyebrows, and pink blush in terrible round circles on her cheeks. Then there was Blaine…he had allowed her to remove his hat and use navy eye shadow to color hair on his head and draw in navy blue eyebrows. He also had a light green eye shadow that also went up to his "eyebrows" and a bright red lipstick that ran outside the lines of his lips.

Kurt never loved his fiancé more than in that moment and knew, without a doubt, that Blaine was going to make the best father once he was better and they could be married and begin a family.

Without waking either, he walked over to the table and took a seat, "They're both wearing fabulously hideous makeup and are passed out, we should just let them sleep I think."

They all agreed and began to eat. The conversation started off light and about how everyone's Friday had been, however there was a tension in the air that Santana was willing to break almost as soon as Max ended his story about his new project at work.

"So the results were bad?" She said and no one needed further clarification. They all knew that Blaine had gone in for testing today to see how the tumor was reacting to his treatments.

Kurt dropped the slice of pizza he had been ready to take a bite from and sighed, "They weren't good," he wiped his hands on a napkin and rubbed his face tiredly, looking at Blaine's profile from where he was still sleeping in the living room, "The tumor grew. Not much, but enough that his doctor said there was no point in continuing with the treatment he is on. By now it would have shrunk if it was going to, and the fact that it grew…" He sighed again and was surprised when Santana's hand gripped his.

They might not have been as close as she and Blaine were, and even though she still often had mean names and biting remarks for him, Kurt knew that Santana loved him and was there for him always.

"So what does that mean?" She asked with concern heavy in her voice.

"He looked around at all of them, at Blaine, then back to Santana, "He starts a new treatment tomorrow, some stronger drug that the tumor will hopefully react to."

"And?" Kurt looked over to Sam when he spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he starts this new drug and what? We just wait and see what happens while that thing is still growing inside of him?"

Kurt felt the sting in his nose that meant tears would be forming soon, he felt choked up and unable to answer. He looked back out to Blaine, but heard Santana make an angry remark at Sam, felt her hand squeeze his again. He hadn't really been able to process what had happened at the doctor's office that morning yet. He always waited to really think about Blaine's cancer until Blaine was sleeping at night and he didn't have to worry about him being in pain or noticing the sadness in Kurt's eyes.

He felt a tear slip from his eye, but brushed it as he turned back to the conversation. Kyle was looking angrily at Santana, but Kurt had no idea what had happened and he found he didn't care.

"Yes," he spoke quietly, looking at Sam, "We wait."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Good or bad, please review! Your feedback helps me know if I'm on the right track or desperately need to change things!**


	4. August

**A/N- Glad to hear you guys are liking this so far. Not going to lie, things are going to start getting sad. Please continue to let me know your thoughts on this story! I love the feedback! And thank you to everyone who has given me some!**

**-I own nothing from Glee!**

* * *

Kurt blinked his eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness in the loft. He had awoken and was still trying to figure out why. A glance at the clock over the stove told him it was only 3:30am and the city outside was mostly asleep at this point.

He moved slightly, trying to adjust Blaine's dead weight on top of him, and that's when he felt the wetness. The bed near his thigh was wet and soaking into his pajama pants.

"Blaine." He called, reaching for the bedside lamp.

"Hmm…what?" Blaine woke up when Kurt had moved under him.

"The bed is wet," Kurt sat up and moved the blanket, "oh."

Where Blaine had been sleeping there was a large yellow wet stain.

"Oh my God, I…"

Kurt snapped his eyes up to Blaine from where he had been staring at the bed. He saw his fiancé's eyes wide with horror and cheeks bright red. He knew now definitely wasn't the time to talk about it.

He stood up and walked over to Blaine's side, "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Blaine stared down at Kurt's pants, there was a large wet spot on the entire front and side of his left thigh, "God, Kurt, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, no…it's fine, really!" He tried to reassure, knowing there was no way this would be forgotten. Kurt pulled the blankets down, but as Blaine attempted to move his legs off the bed, he noticed that his feet seemed to drag.

"Are your feet ok?" He asked, concerned.

"I don't know…I can't really feel them." Blaine stared down where his feet were resting against the floor.

"You can't feel them?"

Blaine shook his head.

"Do you think you can walk?"

"I'm not sure." He blushed.

Kurt nodded and helped lift Blaine to a standing position, but helped him sit once again when his legs almost immediately began to buckle and he cried out in pain.

"What happened? What hurts?"

Blaine was breathing heavy from the pain, "I don't…It's just like…shooting pain up my legs." He looked at Kurt scared.

"Ok, stay here for a second, I'm going to get you a change of bottoms, then help you over to the couch. I'm going to call the hospital; I don't think we should wait until the morning. We'll just see what they say, ok?"

Kurt didn't wait for Blaine's reply. He quickly made his way up the ladder, already feeling the sting of tears, to where their closet still was. Once he was inside, he held one of his sweaters to his face and allowed a sob to break free, muffled in the fabric. He was scared. This wasn't normal and there were new and worsening symptoms. He had read all the websites and he knew this wasn't good. He allowed himself one more minute of fear and then pulled back from the sweater and took a few shaky breaths.

After a few minutes, he was returning back down the ladder, pants and boxers in hand, his own bottoms changed, and no sign of crying or major anxiety present.

After Blaine was also changed, he gently carried him over to the couch, mindful that too much movement caused him a great deal of pain, and set him down.

"I'm just going to change the sheets and then I'll call, ok?"

"Ok… I'm so sorry, Kurt." He looked down, averting his eyes, and sniffling a little.

Kurt sat on the edge of the couch and rubbed his arm, "There's nothing to be sorry about. This isn't like you got drunk and just couldn't control yourself Blaine, this is not your fault."

"I'm just so embarrassed." A tear fell and Kurt wiped it away gently, tilting his head up so he'd meet his eyes.

"It's just me, ok? This changes nothing. I love you no matter what."

Blaine smiled a little, nodding his head, "I love you too." He said quietly.

Kurt leaned down and kissed him, then went about changing the sheets and cleaning up the mattress. When he was done, he sat on the floor in front of the couch and dialed the number to the hospital.

After going through the prompts, he finally reached an actual human.

"Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, how may I direct your call?"

"Hi, can I please be connected to Dr. Kevin Riker?"

"Just hold for one minute."

He waited and listened as an outdated song came on. Kurt turned a little towards Blaine and grabbed his hand, squeezing it a little and relishing in the squeeze he felt back.

"Hello, Sir?" The operator's voice came back on.

"Yes?"

"Dr. Riker won't be in until 5 am, would you like to be connected to his answering machine?"

"Well, um…is there someone else I can talk to? Someone that he works with or something, my boyfriend is having some trouble and I really need to talk to someone." He heard the urgency in his voice, and could tell when he felt another squeeze to his hand that Blaine could as well. He kept himself from looking at Blaine's face.

"Sure, honey, just hold on and I'll connect to you Dr. Smith, he's the on call doctor right now."

"Thank you."

The music came on very briefly and suddenly there was a deep, but kind, voice on the other end.

"Hello, this is Dr. Smith, how can I help you?"

"Hi, um ok well my fiancé has stage three malignant plasmacytoma and he's been undergoing treatment for two months there, and he's been ok…I mean not ok, obviously not ok, he has cancer, but you know, _ok_. Anyway, we just woke up, I mean I woke up first, but because he um…well he loss function of his bladder I guess you'd say, and well I mean, so he was going to get up, but then he couldn't feel his feet. I thought, you know, maybe that he could still walk, but he couldn't and he was, _is_, in a lot of pain. I mean he's been in pain anyway but this is worse and sudden pain, you know? _Different pain_." Kurt took a deep breath, realizing that he said that in entirely one breath, he could only imagine what he sounded like to the doctor, never mind to Blaine. He was doing a _great_ job at being calm.

"Ok, can I have your fiancé's name?"

"Oh, right, yes, Blaine Anderson."

"Ok, let me just get his file up here," Kurt could hear typing and clicking, "Ok, so you say Blaine has had an episode of incontinence of his bladder?"

"Yes."

"And this has been the first time? No urine leakage prior to this incident?"

"No, no…this was the first time." Kurt only knew this because he was the one who helped Blaine with changing everyday.

"Ok, and the pain, can he rate the pain on a scale of 1-10, 1 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain ever."

Kurt relayed the scaling system to Blaine.

"Um, when I'm just sitting here, it's probably a 5 or 6, what it normally is, when I tried to stand or when you picked me up, it was like an 8 or 9."

Kurt told Dr. Smith.

"Ok, so substantial pain then." Kurt heard more clicking, "I'm going to recommend that you bring Blaine in. This could be nothing, but I'd like to run a few tests just to make sure. Do you have a car?"

"No…we usually just take the subway when we go there."

"Ok, well it's obviously that he's not going to be able to walk, so I'm going to send an ambulette to pick you and Blaine up, I think it will be the best way to get him here safely and with the least amount of pain."

"Ok…um…we've never had to do that before."

"It's nothing to worry about, it's basically just a way to transport patients when they need to be helped to move and they can also bring a stretcher so he can be comfortable, ok?" Dr. Smith reassured him.

"Ok."

"I'm putting in the order now, they should call you when they are there so you can let them in. We'll start Blaine on some medicine for the pain when he gets here and begin testing. Hopefully, by that time Dr. Riker is here and he can oversee what is happening."

"Thank you."

When Kurt hung up, he filled Blaine in on what he hadn't heard and then got them both ready. The transportation staff was as careful with Blaine as possible, trying to make the move from the couch to the stretcher as easy as possible, but it still broke Kurt's heart every time he cried out in pain.

Dr. Smith had been right, by the time Blaine was hooked up to an IV with pain medicine and being rolled off for a full body scan, Dr. Riker had already been in the room to greet them.

* * *

Four hours after they had gotten to the hospital, Dr. Riker walked into Blaine's room. Kurt stared at the man who always had a smile on his face, but now didn't even attempt a grimace. His heart sank and he felt Blaine's hand find his.

"The results are back from your testing." They watched as he sat down on one of the chairs next to the bed. Kurt sat down as well, but on the edge of the bed next to Blaine.

"What did it show? Did the tumor grow again?" Blaine asked, "I've only been on the new meds for about a month, are they not working already?" Kurt squeezed his hand and he stopped his questions.

"The tumor has grown, yes," He cleared his throat a little, "It has most likely pushed up against a nerve that affects your bladder which is why you experienced some incontinence, though it does not appear to have permanently affected any of these nerves."

"Well that's good, right?" Kurt asked confused as to why he seemed so morose, "Is there another treatment Blaine will have to start since the tumor doesn't seem to be responding to this one?"

"I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but through the testing, we have found more tumors. Besides the one located near your spine, that has now grown, we have also found two in your right lung, one in your colon, and another one near the original one."

A buzzing seemed to begin in Kurt's ears, "What…what does that mean?" he choked out, squeezing Blaine's hand like he would float away if he let up just a little.

"We've…At this point, we no longer have any viable treatment options."

Blaine's hand went limp in Kurt's. He looked over and Blaine was white as a sheet.

Kurt looked back up to the doctor, "There has to be something…there have to be studies or surgeries…something!"

"There are always studies that are being conducted that we can look into, however it is in my experience that when a person's cancer has rejected two chemotherapy treatments, there is almost no rate of success with a third or any other form of treatment."

Kurt stood up suddenly, Blaine's hand falling limp onto the bed, "So what? Blaine goes home and just dies? Just like that? Sorry, we tried, it's time to give up." He was angry, so angry. Dr. Riker didn't cause this, of course he didn't, but he was there and he was in front of Kurt and someone had to pay for this, "What kind of doctor are you?"

Dr. Riker looked up at him, no sign of anger at Kurt's outburst, he replied gently, "As I said, I am more than willing to look into what research is out there and to help sign Blaine up for studies if that is the route that you want to go."

"Wait." It was barely above a whisper and neither man in the room seemed to hear him.

"Of course that's what we're doing, we can't just give up! He was only diagnosed three months ago! How could we just give up that fast?"

"Wait." He said it louder and this time both men looked at him.

Kurt sat down again, "What is it, honey?"

Blaine looked at the doctor, "You said there is almost no chance that another treatment will help, what are the odds that it will?"

Dr. Riker shook his head a little, "We're talking _maybe_ a 5% chance that it would cure you, possibly a 10% chance that your life expectancy would be longer."

"And," He took a breath, preparing himself to ask the question on his mind, "And what is my life expectancy now…if I do nothing?"

"It's hard to say really, but with the fast progression we've seen so far…maybe 6-8 months, a year if we're lucky."

"We'll sign up for the studies…right Blaine?" Kurt asked desperately, tears filling up his eyes when Blaine looked at him and he knew what his answer would be, "Blaine, please! You can just stop fighting this!" He begged.

Blaine looked at Dr. Riker, "Could we have some time to discuss this?"

"Of course, take all the time you need." He stood up and excited the room.

Blaine turned back to Kurt and smiled at him softly, his face calm even with tears leaking from his eyes. He held his hand to Kurt's face, gently cupping his cheek, and Kurt brought his hand up to hold it there.

"I love you, you know that?"

A sob broke free from Kurt, "Yes." His voice was a whisper.

"Let's spend these next few months together and happy, making memories you can keep with you, instead of ones where I am sick and fighting a losing battle. Let's get married finally; I think we've waited as long as we can."

Kurt laughed a little, but it came out with a sob and sounded particularly sad. He quickly lost any humor, "I can't lose you."

Blaine's face crumpled for a moment, but he held the deep hurt and fear in, that would come later, and he shook his head, "Never."

Blaine then pulled Kurt towards him and they wrapped each other up in hard, desperate hugs. Every moment was numbered now. Every memory a keepsake. Now there was an invisible countdown neither could predict.


	5. September

**A/N- Wow, thank you all so much for the reviews! I am so sorry I am making you sad, but as I've told some of you, even though this story is a sad one, there will still be happy moments. As you'll see I've decided to stay with canon in regards to Finn, but I think it will work out better that way. This means, though, that I am just rewriting some things, but no worries, the chapters will still be posted regularly.**

**Also, look up the Brooklyn Clock Tower if you have a chance, it's beautiful!**

**-I don't own anything from Glee**

* * *

"You ok son?"

Kurt looked up from where his head was in his hands to see his father in the doorway. He had been getting ready for his and Blaine's wedding that would be starting soon. The wedding he had only one month to plan and looked nothing like what they had dreamed about.

"No," he shook his head, laughing humorlessly, "I'm definitely not ok." He looked down again.

Burt walked into the room and sat down on the bench next to him, "It's not cold feet, is it?" He smiled.

"No, nothing like that." His voice shook a little and when he looked back at his father, his eyes were clouded with tears.

Burt placed his hand on his shoulder, concerned, "What's going on?"

"This whole thing...this wedding, we've waited years for this day. Years, because we wanted it to be perfect. We wanted the day to be perfect, the timing to be perfect," he shook his head a little, "Our jobs were both going to be stable, Blaine was going to start speaking to his parents again so they could be here, there was just so much we were waiting for."

"Sometimes life doesn't work out the way you plan, kid." Burt said sadly.

Kurt stood up quickly and looked at his father angrily, "This isn't just a change in our plans! This is an ending to them! He deserves more than a hastily thrown together wedding!" His chin began to wobble as a few tears slid from his eyes, "No one is going to ask us when we plan to start a family. No one is going to ask us anything about a future because there isn't one! Not for us. This isn't the start of our life together, it's the end of it." A sob broke from him and Burt rushed to him, pulling him into his arms as Kurt began to cry in earnest.

Burt's voice was thick as he spoke to his son, "Listen to me, no one would dare to say this is fair, but these are the cards you've been dealt and today you are getting married to the man that you love. I know what is going to come soon, too soon, and I won't let you or Blaine deal with it alone, Kurt, but today is not that day." He pulled back from his son and wiped his own face where tears had fallen while Kurt did the same, "Today you are going to forget all of the bad that is surrounding you, and you are going to join your life with the boy in the other room who is more fidgety than I've ever seen him since I've met him."

Kurt laughed a little, sniffling.

"Kurt, Blaine loves you so much, that's all you have to remember today, ok?"

He nodded, smiling, "Thanks, dad."

Burt nodded and hugged his son tightly again for a moment, "Now get yourself together, we have a wedding to get started!"

It took another twenty minutes before Kurt gave the ok for the ceremony to begin. Though it was not their dream wedding, it was still beautiful. Kurt was lucky enough to have a friend at Vogue who had an apartment in the Brooklyn Clock Tower, and was willing to let them use it as their ceremony and reception space (of course this was because this was only _one_ of her New York apartments). The large glass clock that acted as a window was the backdrop for where Kurt and Blaine would exchange vows, and Kurt appreciated the subtle nod to how time was something always moving and precious, especially now in his relationship with Blaine.

Because Blaine's parents weren't there, the answer card in the invitation returned merely with a check in the 'cannot attend box', it was decided that Carole would walk Kurt down the aisle and Burt would walk Blaine. Kurt would have given anything to have had his father there with him, but Blaine's strength was diminishing rapidly, and though he could still walk short distances, it was decided that in case he became weak half way down the aisle, Burt would be more capable in helping him. Kurt had tried to convince him to use the wheelchair he now had for long distances, but Blaine was determined to make it himself.

The bridal party consisted of Santana, Sam, and Kyle on Blaine's side and Rachel and Max on Kurt's. Kurt had thought long and hard about who he wanted his third bridesmaid or groomsman to be, but every time he thought about it, there was only one person who could fill that spot: Finn. Another person who left him too soon, and he just knew he couldn't put a random friend in his bridal party when he would always wish it had been his brother.

Of course, Mollie was the flower girl, and in her frilly white dress, she did an amazing job.

They all made their way down the aisle without incident, and Kurt could already feel himself getting choked up, watching _his Blaine_ coming towards him. His father was right, he knew Blaine was dying, he knew things would only get harder from here on out, but as he watched his fiancé walk towards him, all he could feel was immense happiness.

They were finally getting married; something he never thought they would be able to do.

When Blaine finally joined him, Kurt could tell that he was tired, could see the exhaustion behind his eyes and feel the slight sway where he held his hands tightly. Besides that, though, he could see the brightness in Blaine's eyes that said everything Kurt needed to know; he was so, so happy.

"I love you." Blaine blurted out and Kurt could hear their family and friends laughing in the back round, but he only had eyes for Blaine.

"I love you too."

The ceremony began, and soon it was time for Kurt's vows.

He looked into Blaine's eyes and spoke only to him, "Growing up in Ohio, I never felt like I belonged. There were always people telling me I was wrong; that what I felt was unnatural and something to be punished. There were times when I didn't think I could keep going, but then you were there. You were like a light when everything was dark, and I know that I wouldn't have made it without you. As time has gone on, things have gotten easier, but the major constant in my life, making the hard times better, has always been you. I love you more than anything, Blaine, and nothing will ever change that. I will spend whatever time we have together showing you again and again just how much you mean to me.

Kurt smiled as he reached up and wiped Blaine's face where some tears had fallen. Blaine sniffled a little and took a deep breath before beginning his vows.

"Well I'm not sure why we decided you would get to go first, just so I'd have to do this while crying." Everyone in attendance laughed, Blaine looked up into his eyes, "Kurt, I knew you were someone I needed in my life from the moment I met you. You've always had an energy about you that pulled me towards you, and since we began dating I have been wondering how I have been so lucky to call you mine." Blaine looked down as a few tears began to fall, when he looked back up, his face was sad, "We've always said we were soul mates, that we were meant to be together and would have found each other through any circumstances, and while I know that's true, I couldn't help but be so sad because of it. I get to spend the rest of my life with my soul mate, but you only have this brief time with yours. It took me a long time to realize, though, that even though I won't be here for a very long time, being soul mates transcends the physical. You will never be without me and I will love you for this moment and for every moment to come. I love you more than words can describe, and I am eternally grateful for you."

While almost everyone was at various stages of awed sadness, Kurt and Blaine both had tears falling down their faces. Kurt leaned forward and pulled Blaine into a hug, and they whispered 'I love you's' into each other's ears.

When Kurt pulled back, he could feel tremors running through Blaine's body, saw how Blaine was holding onto his arms just a little tighter than he generally would. He stared into Blaine's eyes and saw the fatigue from standing for so long.

"Do you need to sit?"

"No…no, I'm fine." Blaine smiled a little, though it was pain-filled.

Kurt placed his hand against Blaine's cheek, "Don't hurt yourself. It doesn't mean you're weak if you have to sit."

Blaine looked at him a moment longer and nodded. Kurt looked past him and over to Santana and she moved to get Blaine's wheelchair where it was against the wall in case of a situation like this. Kurt gently helped Blaine sit, and then they joined hands once again, looking to the officiate to continue the ceremony.

I do's and rings were exchanged, and before too long, Mr. and Mr. Anderson-Hummel were pronounced husbands. While pictures were being taken, the apartment was transformed into the reception space. Dinner was served and eaten, and then the real party began.

Blaine was able to stand long enough for his and Kurt's first dance as husbands, _Come What May_ being the obvious choice for their first song, but then he allowed Kurt to force him back into his wheelchair.

Kurt danced with Rachel, but they were mostly laughing at Sam, quite literally, spinning Blaine around on the dance floor.

Sam's girlfriend, Jackie (who was neither an ice-skater or a gymnast, but actually a ballet dancer, as Santana had found out at the rehearsal dinner the night before while she was drunkenly hitting on the girl) was showing Mollie how to do pirouettes and twirls. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, and though the overall party may have had a somber overhang, the atmosphere was ultimately celebratory.

After a while, the DJ asked the guests to return to their seats so that the speeches could begin. Burt was asked to go first.

"Wow, you boys sure do know a lot of people!" He smiled at the laughs he received, "Now, I'm not one for big speeches, but I just want you both to know how proud I am of you. I have watched you both grow into good men and I have seen the love that you share for each other. Blaine, I have thought of you as a son for years now, and I am happy that it is finally official. And Kurt," He smiled at his son, "I am so proud of who you have become and I know your mom would've felt the same, and she would've loved Blaine." Kurt laughed a little, tears in his eyes, Burt raised his glass, "I love you both and wish you both as much happiness as possible!"

Cheers were shouted and champagne drank, and then Rachel was grabbing the microphone.

"Hey guys, oh my God, I'm already crying!" She laughed a little, fanning at her eyes, "Kurt, Blaine, we've been through a lot these past years; love, loss, successes, and failures, but through it all, you two have gone strong and gotten us all through the good and bad times. Your love has always been so strong, and even during the hard times, there has never been a doubt in my mind that this day would come. Your love is one of fairytales and fate, one that I can only hope to experience one day…" She looked away as a tear fell, it was obvious to those who had known Rachel for a substantial amount of time that Finn had been her fairytale romance. "Anyway," She smiled at them, "You are both brothers and best friends to me and I couldn't ask for better ones. This wedding has been beautiful, just like your love." She raised her class, a distinct gagging sound coming from Santana heard over the cheers and applause.

Sam was the next one up, "Hey, everyone! I'm Sam, umm, Blaine's best friend from high school and guilty pleasure crush." Blaine stared at him slack jawed while Kurt just laughed and put his arm around Blaine, "But to be fair, Kurt had a pretty huge crush on me first, so I guess I'm like first in line for any threesomes."

"Oh my God!"

"Sam!"

Kurt and Blaine both yelled out, though the rest of the guests were cracking up.

"Anyway," He continued, laughing, "I am really happy for you guys. You've both been great friends to me, and I'm so happy that I met you. Happy wedding, and all of that, and I love you guys!"

When Santana took the microphone, people were still laughing, "Well I really don't think I could top Trouty Mouth's speech, and anyway I prepared something else for you two, so if you could come out to the dance floor, Blaine I know you're taking a break in that chair, or whatever, but I need you standing." Kurt and Blaine looked at each other warily, but got up and Kurt helped Blaine out to stand in front of Santana. "So I know this is more Berry's thing and you were both expecting me to tell multiple embarrassing stories about all the times I've walked in on you having sex," Kurt and Blaine's faces were bright red as they stared at her, "However, we all know I love Blaine and secretly Kurt, however I will never admit it again, and so I prepared a song. Also, I knew you were going to choose that terrible one, so I thought I'd save this thing."

To the surprise of almost everyone in the room, as music began to play, Santana said, "You two are everything good in this world," before beginning to sing:

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am home again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am whole again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am young again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am fun again._

As she sang, Kurt and Blaine began to dance. Blaine rested his head on Kurt's shoulder and Kurt rested his on the side of Blaine's head. They swayed to the song, the words sinking into them, meaning so much.

_However far away, I will always love you._

_However long I stay, I will always love you._

_Whatever words I say, I will always love you._

_I will always love you._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am free again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am clean again._

The rest of the guests made their way out onto the dance floor and filled the empty areas, however Kurt and Blaine were lost to each other and in this moment.

_However far away, I will always love you._

_However long I stay, I will always love you._

_However far away, I will always love you._

_However long I stay, I will always love you._

_Whatever words I say, I will always love you._

_I'll always love you. I'll always love you._

'_Cause I love you._

When she was done, while everyone clapped, Santana handed off the microphone and walked over to Kurt and Blaine, squeezing them both in a tight hug and whispering her love to them.

After the speeches were over, the party continued and eventually Kurt and Blaine _neatly_ fed each other cake. When the end of the reception came and mostly everyone had left, Kurt found Blaine sitting on one of the couches in front of a window, staring out into the city, Mollie dead asleep in his lap.

"Hey." Kurt whispered.

Blaine looked up and smiled at his husband, "Hey."

Kurt sat down and put his arm around him, Blaine rested his head on Kurt's shoulder, "Did you have a good time?"

Blaine nodded, "It was wonderful, Kurt, you did an amazing job, everything looked beautiful."

Kurt kissed his head, the top hat he had worn all day now resting on the couch besides him, "I'm glad."

Blaine placed the hand not holding Mollie on Kurt's leg and squeezed a little, "I love you, you know?"

He laughed a little, "Yes, well, I was hoping you did after the whole wedding thing."

He smiled, "Well I'm just telling you again."

Kurt placed his hand over Blaine's, "I will never get tired of you telling me."

"I'll tell you for as long as I can."

* * *

**I hoped you enjoy! Please let me know what you thought!**

**The song was _Love Song _by Adele.  
**


	6. October

**A/N- Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all the lovely comments you've left! It makes me so happy to know you're enjoying this story! This chapter is a little different in the way it's written. It goes back and forth from present time to the past. I hope you enjoy, there's only two more chapters after this (three if an epilogue seems necessary, but I'm thinking just two). Please let me know how you feel about this one!**

**- I don't own anything from Glee!**

* * *

Kurt stared out the window of the plane, Blaine was already dead asleep against him, the painkillers doing their job. He thought back to the last month, to how they got here; on a plane heading back to Lima…back to live with his parents.

It had started with a frantic phone call from Santana…

* * *

_Kurt looked at his phone and seriously contemplated ignoring her call. He was beyond behind at work, and it seemed like things kept getting added to his to do list. If Santana wasn't at home with Blaine, Kurt may have not given it another thought. With a sigh, he picked up._

"_Hello?"_

_He heard back round noise, but no Santana. It was loud and there were a lot of people talking._

"_Santana? Are you there?"_

"_Kurt? Kurt! You need to get to the hospital. We're at the hospital."_

_Kurt's heart started to beat faster than he thought possible, and there was a good chance he was about to pass out; if the way the room started to spin and go white meant anything._

"_What happened? Where is Blaine? Santana what happened?" He practically yelled, not noticing the few stares he was attracting as people passed his office._

"_Shit, ok relax. He's ok, all right? Just breathe. He…he passed out, but—"_

"_He passed out!? Why? What did the—"_

"_KURT!" She interrupted him. When he went silent and made no indication that he would continue talking, she started speaking again, "Yes, he passed out, but his doctor said that it was because his oxygen levels had dropped. He said that this isn't rare given Blaine's condition. They want to keep him until tomorrow though, for observation and everything…he's probably going to have to use an oxygen mask at home sometimes, I don't know, it's really hard to understand what that guy is talking about while I'm worrying about Blaine, which is why you need to get down here."_

_He looked at the to do list he made himself that morning, it was almost two full pages long and only about a dozen or so items were crossed off, "I'm leaving now."_

_They said their goodbyes and Kurt was immediately up and packing his bag to leave. Once he collected his belongings, he ran over to his supervisor's office._

"_Jackie?"_

_A tall red headed woman looked up from where she was typing on her computer. When she saw Kurt she immediately smiled. Kurt had been working with Jackie since he began his job, and they had developed a great rapport over the years. Kurt was hard working, and Jackie was fair in her criticisms._

"_Kurt! Come in." She typed a few more things while he sat down, and then gave him her full attention, "What's up?"_

_Kurt bounced his leg anxiously; he was nervous about what was going on with Blaine, and he was nervous because he had called out or left early more frequently as Blaine become more and more sick._

"_I uhh….I have to go. Blaine had to be taken to the hospital because he passed out, so I have to go…I have to go."_

_Jackie's smile was no longer on her face, "Kurt…I'm concerned," Her eyes were soft as they stared into his, "I know you have so much going on at home, and I'm just worried that it's beginning to effect your work."_

_She put her hand up to stop him from talking when he opened his mouth; it snapped closed and for the second time in a little over twenty minutes, his heart was racing wildly._

_Jackie continued, "I think maybe now is the time that you need to concentrate on what's happening at home, with your family. You've got enough on your plate without having to worry about what's going on here."_

_He began shaking his head almost immediately and continued once she finished, "No…no, I promise I can do better, I will do better! I've been distracted but please…just give me another chance!"_

"_I'm sorry Kurt, I am, but this wasn't my call. This came from the higher ups." Tears filled his eyes, "I promise you though, once everything slows down, your job will be here. I promise, ok?"_

_Kurt stared at her for a moment, but his mind quickly went to Blaine; his Blaine, laying in a hospital bed and waiting for him. He stood up quickly, his chair tilting back and making a loud smacking noise when it came back down on its legs._

"_I have to go." He turned and began walking out of the office._

"_Kurt!" Jackie called after him, but he ignored her. He knew that if he stopped, if he turned around and really though about what just happened, that he would burst into tears._

_Later he would think about how he was fired from his job. How he was fired from his dream job because he missed too many days, and how it was because his husband had terminal cancer. Later he would allow the reality of this moment to sink in, but for now he would take the subway uptown a few stops and then get to Blaine as fast as he could. It seemed like the last good thing he had in his life was teetering between here and gone already._

_Blaine stayed in the hospital three days after it was discovered that another tumor had grown in his lungs and an infection was causing his shortness of breath. The reality of Blaine's illness was beginning to sink in…there were some things that could no longer be ignored._

* * *

Kurt looked at his husband from where he was beginning to move against him. Slowly, Blaine sat up straighter, blinking a few times before turning to Kurt.

"Hey." He smiled tiredly, "How long was I out?"

"Hi sleepyhead," Kurt smiled a little, looking at his watch, "Only about forty-five minutes. Are you still tired?"

"Mmm," He nodded, his cheeks turned pink, "I have to go to the bathroom." He whispered.

Kurt pecked him on the lips, "Ok." He asked the girl sitting next to Blaine if she could get up so that they could get out of the aisle. Once she had, he moved past Blaine and gently helped him stand. Though he had spent the past two weeks mastering how to move Blaine when he wasn't in his wheelchair, maneuvering on a plane was a whole new experience. Kurt had Blaine go in front of him and he supported him from behind, hands around his waist. Blaine's holding onto the seats as he passed and Kurt's hands on him were the only things keeping him up, his legs were shaky and weak and Kurt could feel how tense his muscles were.

Kurt knew that Blaine was embarrassed, and though he told him over and over again that he had no reason to be, he was grateful that Blaine kept his head down as they walked. It felt as though more than half of the passengers that they passed openly stared at them, and Kurt knew that Blaine would be mortified if he saw it.

* * *

_There were many times in which Blaine needed help getting around. Usually it was from one section of the apartment to the next, however this was not a usual occurance._

_Kurt stood next to where Blaine sat in his wheelchair, both staring up the first flight of steps._

"_Maybe we could just go really slow?" Kurt questioned, looking at his husband._

_Blaine shook his head a little, "I don't think it's going to work right now. We could go out for a little longer?"_

"_Blaine, it's 3 o'clock and we've been out all day. You look like you're about to pass out in that chair, which is probably why your legs are so tired in the first place. We can not go out for any long, you need a nap and I plan on using that as an excuse to take one myself." He smiled a little._

"_Well, what do you suggest then?"_

_Kurt looked up again, contemplating, "I could carry you up?" He looked back to Blaine who was looking at him like he was crazy._

"_Kurt…no, that's…that's not possible!"_

"_It's only four flights and you're as light as anything these days. I think our groceries weigh more than you."_

"_You have our groceries delivered." He smirked._

"_Yes well, that is besides the point."_

_Kurt was in fact able to carry Blaine up, barely and not without almost dropping him between the second and third floor. The worst part had been when they got to their apartment and he realized that he had to make the trip again to retrieve Blaine's wheelchair. The nap after, however, made the whole thing worth it._

_It seemed that once Blaine began having trouble with walking, it got worse and worse until Kurt had to carry him up the stairs pretty much every time and at least one flight if Blaine was able to walk. Dr. Riker soon told him that it was safer for him to use the wheelchair if Kurt was not around to help him ambulate. Blaine took the news hard, it was a loss of a freedom he had always had, it was the first time his diagnosis became a reality._

* * *

Kurt and Blaine were the last ones off the plane; they had to wait until everyone had gotten off before Kurt could help his husband to walk off the plane and to where his wheelchair was currently waiting right outside of it. As he pushed Blaine towards baggage claim, he thought about how difficult it was to realize that soon they would no longer be able to afford their apartment, and even if they could, it was no longer safe for Blaine.

Soon, Kurt saw his parents waving to them from where they stood by baggage carousel 3. He saw their looks towards Blaine, the sadness and worry taking over their faces at how pale and thin he had become, even in the three weeks since the wedding.

"Dad, Carole, hi!" He smiled and they smiled, because Blaine was doing the same.

* * *

_Kurt carried Blaine's wheelchair through the door, his breathing heavy from the second walk up. As soon as he set the chair near where Blaine was lying on the bed, he joined his husband, lying next to him. They lay facing each other for a few silent moments before Kurt spoke up._

"_This isn't working anymore."_

_Blaine smiled a little, "I hope you mean this apartment because there's no way I'm giving you this ring back."_

_Kurt smiled and took his hand and kissed it over where the ring was warm from his skin, "Of course not, I mean the apartment. It's not working out here, we're not working out here."_

Blaine sighed, "_I know…I wish I knew what to do, it's not like we can just afford another one."_

"_Well, I was talking to my dad today…he offered to let us move in with him and Carole if we wanted to." Kurt said almost offhandedly._

_Blaine looked at him for a few moments, "And do we want to?"_

"_I think that maybe it might be our most logical decision. It will be safer and easier for you, there will be two more people there to help, I think it might be the best idea."_

Blaine hesitated for a moment, "_Or, I mean, I could go."_

_Kurt looked at him confused, "Of course you would go. That's the point."_

"_No…I mean I could go. I could go and you could stay here."_

"_What? Why would I stay here?"_

_Blaine looked down a little, "Because your life is here? You could get your job back, I wouldn't mind, really. We could Skype and talk on the phone…I don't want to ruin your life, Kurt."_

_Kurt lifted Blaine's head so that they could make eye contact, "Blaine, my life is with you. You go, I go. There's not question."_

* * *

"Ok, well I know it's not as fancy as your New York digs, but….Ta da!" Burt said happily as he opened the door to what used to be the guest room and was now transformed into a much more cozy bedroom for Kurt and Blaine.

Kurt pushed Blaine through the threshold and they took in their new room. His parents had put up pictures of the couple all over the room as if it had been their room always.

Kurt squeezed Blaine's shoulder and Blaine placed his hand over it, "It's beautiful, thank you."

"You really didn't have to do all this for us." Blaine said in awe.

Burt came closer to him, "Of course we did, this is what family does for each other."

* * *

**A/N- I hope you enjoyed! Let me know your thoughts!**


	7. November

**A/N- Only one more chapter after this! Sorry this is out towards the end of the week, school started and that combined with my internship did nothing for my spare time! I hope you enjoy this! I hope you'll let me know your thoughts!**

**-I don't own anything from Glee!**

* * *

The doorbell had Kurt running to answering it. Dana, Blaine's hospice nurse, was standing on the other side of the door. Kurt moved to the side to let her in from the frigid outside.

"Hi Kurt, how's it going?" She smiled and every time Kurt saw her he wondered what made her get into hospice work.

Dana was technically a student, still in grad school, and she still had an energy that showed her excitement and longing to discover everything the world had to offer. Often Kurt felt jealous, he was only starting to near his thirties, but with Blaine's illness and diagnosis...well most of the excitement was gone. And if there was anything the world had to offer he would gladly trade it for a few more years with his husband.

"Everything's fine... Well the same really." His smile was forced.

Her face was sympathetic but not in the way that everyone else's was when they looked at Kurt. She was sorry he was losing his husband but she didn't pity him or Blaine. Working in end of life care taught her that.

"Any plans for Thanksgiving next week?" She asked as they made their way towards Kurt and Blaine's bedroom.

Kurt looked to her slightly but kept walking, "Um... Not much. I think it's just going to be the four of us here."

She nodded. They walked through the bedroom and when her eyes landed on Blaine, they softened immediately. Blaine was only her third patient, but he was by far her favorite (which she was not supposed to have). It was hard not to like him, though; Blaine, even though he was dying, was sweet and kind, and so in love with his husband. She loved Kurt too, he was so dedicated to Blaine and his care, and she knew it wasn't easy to watch your loved one get weaker and slowly have to help them with everything.

"Hey Blaine!" She said brightly, "How ya doing today?"

Blaine began to try and sit up, and Kurt rushed to his side, helping him up and propping pillows behind him so that he could sit comfortably, "I'm good…a little tired." His speaking was interrupted by the pauses he had to take to catch his breath, a result of the tumors in his lungs and the reason he had an oxygen mask for when it became too hard.

"Well that's definitely normal." She said as she began checking the central line leading into the left side of his neck, the place where Kurt could easily inject pain medicine without having to poke him over and over again. "How is the port? Any pain?"

"No, I don't…even really…notice it…usually."

"That's good, that's what we want." She sat on the edge of the bed, "How is everything going? Any problems?" She looked to both Kurt and Blaine.

"Oh!" Kurt sat next to Blaine and took his hand, Dana watched as he began rubbing his thumb back and forth, almost without thought, and it made her smile, "Can you talk to him about taking the pain meds when he needs them? He keeps waiting until the pain is terrible and I can see he's in pain, so I told him I was going to tell on him." He said this last statement looking at Blaine and smiling, scrunching up his nose in a teasing way.

Blaine just stuck his tongue out at him.

"Blaine, why are you not taking the medicine when you need them?" She watched his face fall and a sigh leave his mouth.

"I don't…know," He looked up at her with tired eyes, "I feel like…it's me…losing."

She looked at him confused, "Losing?"

"Against…the cancer."

"Ok, I can understand that, but at the same time, the more pain you're in, the less you can enjoy what's going on around you, right?"

"I guess."

"So isn't that kind of like the opposite of what you're going for?"

He smiled a little and Kurt nudged him with his shoulder as if he had also told him this before.

"Are you in pain now?" She asked seriously.

"I'm always…in pain."

And she knew it was true. She knew by the way his voice wavered, by the way Kurt's hand squeezed his a little tighter and his eyes grew a little watered.

"Well, lucky I'm here then," she leaned down and grabbed her bag, pulling out some supplies, "I've got the good stuff. Do you want something a little stronger?"

Blaine laughed a little but nodded.

"Ok," she began to measure out the medicine and then injected it into the port taped to his shoulder; "This doesn't make you weak, Blaine."

"Yea…yea." He still smiled, but she knew he didn't believe it.

"Have there been any other concerns?" She asked as she was discarding the needle into a plastic box in her bag.

"Just, Blaine hasn't been hungry and even getting him to drink anything is difficult."

She looked at Blaine.

"I don't feel…hungry or…thirsty." He explained with a shrug.

She nodded, "That's completely normal as well as being overall more tired. Because your body is slowly shutting down, it will need less nutrients than it did before and you will continue to feel tired and sluggish. It's not something that you should be alarmed with." She looked at Kurt as she finished and saw tears in his eyes, but he was already getting up to leave the room.

"I have to…I'm going to go…I'll be back." He sniffed and quickly left the room.

Blaine stared after him sadly, "He's having…a hard time…with this."

"I'd imagine it would be difficult, have you guys talked about what you dying means?"

He looked back to her and shook his head, "He won't."

She looked confused, "He won't talk about it?"

He just shook his head and she knew it was because talking took a lot out of him.

"Well how are you dealing with that?"

He shrugged, "I don't…want to hurt…him."

"I think he's already hurting. You should tell him you want to talk about it; it would be good for both of you. You need to plan for the inevitable so that you're both comfortable, and from all I've learned; the spouse that's left does much better if he can come to an acceptance about the death before the actual death."

"I know…I will."

She nodded and they spoke for a few more minutes before the pain medicine began working and Blaine drifted off to sleep. Dana quietly packed up her things and walked out of the room, shutting the lights and closing the door.

Dana found Kurt at the kitchen table, his hands around a mug of tea and his eyes staring out the back door window into the backyard. She took a seat next to him, "Are you ok?"

He looked at her for a moment before answering, "I just don't know how I'm supposed to do this."

"Do what?"

He shook his head, "Watch him die…let him die."

"It's not going to be easy, but I think you just have to talk to him about it. You need be honest with him and let him be honest with you. I think you're both trying to protect each other from having to think about it, but Kurt, Blaine is dying. You both know that and not talking about it is not going to help either of you."

"I know." He nodded but his eyes filled up with tears and he wiped one that fell down his cheek, "I know I'm being selfish here."

Dana grabbed one of his hands and squeezed, "You've been anything but selfish. There is no perfect way to do this, you learn as you go and it's going to be hard, ok? But you will both be better prepared for the end and for saying goodbye if you can talk about it openly."

He nodded again, but as a few more tears slipped from his eyes, Dana knew they were done with the conversation and instead she pulled him in for a hug. This was why she chose end of life care…because these were the forgotten people. So much care was given to the people who were healthy and alive, but there was such a deficit in people who were willing to work with the dying and those who would be left behind. These conversations weren't easy, it wasn't comfortable to talk about death so openly, but for so many people there was no other choice.

Kurt stopped crying after a while and once it was clear that he was as okay as he could possibly be, Dana had left with the promise to be back the next week. Kurt peaked into their bedroom, the light coming through the blinds allowing him to see Blaine sleeping, a light wheezing coming from his breaths, even through the oxygen mask he wore. Kurt slipped into the room quietly and toed off his shoes and lay down next to him.

He lay on his side and gently took one of Blaine's hands. As Kurt stared at his husband, his heart hurt knowing that the the days were numbered that he would be able to see him. To see the slight curve of his nose, the rise and fall of his chest with each breath, the way his eyelids fluttered as he dreamt. Kurt had been doing this, watching Blaine sleep, often lately. He knew that though the doctor had given Blaine the possibility of spring, that he would not be alive past this winter. It hurt to admit this to himself but he could see the decline in his health, knew that it wouldn't be very long until Blaine would have more difficulties being awake.

When he felt his throat closing with panic and sadness, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly and tried to focus on the fact that Blaine was still here, was still breathing, still aware. He lifted up Blaine's hand and kissed it gently, the movement causing him to stir.

"Kurt?" He mumbled and blinked tiredly.

"I'm sorry, honey. Go back to sleep." He whispered and Blaine moved towards him, cuddling up to him before his breathing evened out again. Kurt ran his hand up and down Blaine's back to sooth him and closed his eyes, allowing the warm weight of Blaine against him and his wheezing breaths to lull him to sleep.

* * *

It wasn't until the next week, on Thanksgiving, that Kurt and Blaine finally talked.

Kurt had been helping Carole cook, knowing that his father would be able to help Blaine if he needed anything. He did have to stop when his father came to let him know that Blaine needed help because he had needed help going to the bathroom.

Generally Kurt was there to help with the bathroom matter (with every matter), however he remembered a few weeks ago when he had to take care of some insurance problem and Burt needed to help Blaine. Burt tried to reassure his son-in-law, but it was obvious that Blaine was still mortified to have had to have any help in that matter. That night he had cried to Kurt about the lose of his dignity, he had told Kurt that he wished he could just die because he was so humiliated in how much help he needed for everything. How he didn't want to have to rely on his husband for the bathroom, bathing, even moving. That was the only time Kurt had really seen Blaine in distress about his terminal diagnosis. That had also been the only time Kurt and Blaine really talked about Blaine's impending death. Since then, Kurt has been trying to ignore the reality and Blaine has been allowing him to do so.

After he helped Blaine back into bed, though, Kurt knew it was going to be up to him to start the conversation. He quickly went back to the kitchen to make sure that Carole wouldn't need him for a while and let his father know that he was off "Blaine duty" for a while (Though Burt never looked at it that way).

Like the week before, he slipped into bed next to Blaine and lay on his side. The difference was that Blaine was without the oxygen mask and was lying on his side as well, looking at him expectantly.

Kurt reached for Blaine's hand, "So I was thinking maybe it was time to talk."

"About?" Though he was once one for long speeches and grand gestures, Blaine's inability to breathe properly now left him often substituting a word in the place of full sentences.

"I haven't been fair in trying to ignore the reality of the situation that we now face. I think I thought that I was protecting you, but instead I…well…"

"Left me…alone in it."

Kurt winced but Blaine just smiled gently and squeezed his hand, "It's…okay. You…needed time to…process."

"I think maybe your right. And I think that I was hoping it wasn't going to happen."

"But it…is."

"Yes, it is…you're dying." A tear fell from Kurt's eye and Blaine just wiped it away.

"I am."

"Soon?"

"I don't…know." He shrugged a little, "Maybe."

"Are you scared?"

"I'm exceed…exceedingly…unnerved."

Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes, "You're an idiot."

"What does…that…say about you? …You married…an idiot."

"Yes well what can I say, you won me with your charming school boy looks." He leaned forward and kissed Blaine, "I love you."

"I love…you."

"And from now on you can always talk to me, ok? I'm sorry it took me a bit of time."

"Can I ask…you something?" Blaine looked serious.

"Of course."

"Do you...still believe that…there's nothing?"

"Nothing?" Kurt wondered.

"After."

Kurt's heart sank. He didn't know how to answer this, one the one hand he could make Blaine feel better, but on the other hand, Blaine would know he was lying anyway and they just didn't do that to each other.

He chose to be honest, "I don't know. I desperately want to believe that there's something. I want to believe that I will see you again because I love you too much not to. My head is telling me there's nothing, but my heart says you're stuck with me forever."

Blaine gave a half smile, "I wouldn't...mind that."

Kurt squeezed his hand, "Well and maybe it's like what you said when you proposed. That we have met up in each lifetime and have fallen in love. I think that maybe that's what I would like to believe. That even if we're not Kurt and Blaine in the next life, that we will still be two people who can't help but being together."

Blaine closed his eyes and sniffed a little before a few tears suddenly escaped from his tight closed eyes, "I really…hope...so."

He began to cry and Kurt moved closer, pulling him in, "Shh…it's ok, no matter what everything is going to be ok and I'm going to be with you the whole time, ok?"

Blaine only nodded; crying took enough of his breath without trying to add talking to it.

"I love you so much." He felt Blaine tighten his hold while nodding, and he did the same, placing a kiss on his head that had whispers of hair now that he was no longer on any form of treatment. "It's ok…it's going to be ok."


	8. December

**A/N- Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has stayed with this story and reviewed, favorited, and followed! I am so happy to see that it was well received! Thank you for all of your kind words and I hope you will let me know your thoughts on the final chapter!**

**-I own nothing from Glee!**

* * *

Blaine had one wish for Christmas that year, and it was for his friends still in New York to spend the holidays in Ohio. Kurt knew what it really was, though, it was his way to be able to say goodbye to the people that were really important to him. Everyone knew by Kurt's updates that he had been slowly digressing, and so when Blaine's request was made, they all willingly agreed to pay the horrendous holiday airline prices to say goodbye to their friend.

* * *

"I can't believe you missed their wedding!" Santana hissed at Cooper.

He looked up surprised as she entered the living room, her eyes focused on him. He blinked, "What?"

"Don't what me! You missed Kurt and Blaine's wedding, and for what? To be an extra in some crappy movie!"

"Hey! I had a speaking part in Quentin Tarantino's new movie about Pearl Harbor. Blaine is the one who told me I should do it, and there was no way I could get off."

She glared at him, no one said a word or noticed as Kurt slipped into the room, "Your brother is _dying_. What do you not get about that?"

He stood up so that he could tower above her, "Listen, I don't know who you think you are but—"

"HEY!" Kurt cut him off and everyone in the room looked towards him, "Shut up, both of you; Blaine didn't invite you so that you could argue, just…let it go Santana. He's here now and that's what matters." Cooper sat back on the couch next to Sam, but Santana just continued to glare at Kurt. He stared at her for a moment, "He's awake," Her eyes softened a little, "He wanted to talk to you."

Santana's eyebrows furrowed slightly but she said nothing as she walked past him and down the hall to their room. When she entered, the room was painted with the deep orange color of a setting sun.

"Hey…Santana," Blaine smiled a little from where he lay propped up on the bed, "I wanted…to talk to…everyone…before I…came out there."

She moved to lie next to him on the bed and stared at him quietly for a moment, "You mean you want to say goodbye."

He nodded, "Yes."

She turned her head to stare up at the ceiling, her hand moving to find his and entwining them together, "Any advice for me for when you're gone?"

He smiled though she wasn't looking at him, "Be more…open…to the love…that surr…surrounds…you and don't…settle…because you…deserve to…be happy."

She squeezed his hand, "You've always been a sap," she looked to him, "I love you."

He smiled a little, "I love you too."

She stayed there with him for a while, laying together in comfortable silence, neither willing to give into the idea of crying, Santana left the room and sent Rachel to speak with him.

When she walked in, the comparison between her and Santana was almost enough to make Blaine laugh, and if Rachel was not already beginning to cry, he might have. Where Santana showed her love through the strength she gave those around her, Rachel was much more vocal about her own adoration. She crawled onto the bed, threw her arms around Blaine, and held him as she cried.

"It's going...to be…ok." He pet her hair soothingly.

She pulled away, "No it's not! Blaine I'm so sorry, this isn't fair! You are such a good person!"

He just smiled softly. While he had been able to pass over the anger phase, he knew that it was normal for Rachel to feel this way. He wanted to comfort her further, but knew there was nothing to be said. It wasn't fair and he liked to think he was a good person, but still this was his fate, there would be no miracle and he had accepted that.

"Just look…after Kurt?" He pleaded with his eyes, the one wish he desperately needed her to agree to.

She wiped her eyes a little, "Oh course…oh Blaine, of course I will! You know he looked after me when Finn passed away, of course I'll make sure he'll be ok. He'll be ok."

"Good…I need him…to be."

She smiled he moved his hand up, wiping away the last tear that fell. She lay down again and just held him softly and quietly as Santana had done previously. She too eventually left and he found himself face to face with his brother.

Unlike the girls, Cooper sat at the edge of the side of the bed where Blaine laid, "Hey baby bro." He said quietly, smiling sadly.

"Hey Coop." Blaine watched Cooper look him over, "I look…like shit…I know." He smirked a little, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask he had pulled on when Rachel had left, feeling a little breathless.

Cooper looked away, shaking his head, "I'm so sorry."

"Why?"

"I should've been here! I should've…shit Blaine, I have been a horrible brother and I should've let you hang out with me when you were a kid and I should've let you visit me for spring break that time when you were in middle school, and I should've skipped that stupid movie to go to your wedding!" He was crying now, his head resting in his hands.

Blaine reached forward and placed his hand on Cooper's arm, "You're here…now."

"It's not good enough!" He turned to his brother, "Jesus Blaine, look at you!"

"It means…a lot to me…mom and…dad aren't here…but you…are."

Cooper just leaned forward and rested his head on Blaine's stomach and cried that he was sorry and that he wished he could take it back. Blaine found himself rubbing his hand over Cooper's head like he had done with Rachel and started thinking that it was interesting how much consoling he was doing when he was the one dying…he guessed he wasn't the one who was really going the be stuck with the loss like they were, he didn't even know if he would be aware in any sense, but it was the people he was leaving behind that would have a space where he had once fit, and that space would never truly be filled.

Cooper did eventually stop crying and he and Blaine reminisced about their child hood and the fun times they did have. Blaine liked to believe that Cooper left feeling better about the kind of brother he was because if Blaine was being honest, he wouldn't want anyone else for the job.

"Hey man!" Sam broke his reveries, and Blaine smiled to him as he took the space next to him on the bed, "This is like when we used to have those movie marathon nights back in high school."

Blaine thought back to those times, back even when Kurt still wasn't talking to him and Sam would invite himself over and the two of them would watch all four _Lord of the Ring_ movies or _Star Wars_ or any of trilogy that they could find, only to fall asleep on Blaine's bed and wake up continuing where they left off.

"Those were…good times."

"Yea they were." They laid there in silence as they both thought about happier times, "Hey man, listen I need some advice and as my best friend this is your job."

"Ok?" He waited as Sam got his thoughts together.

"I want to propose to Jackie."

Blaine stared at him for a moment, no sign that he was joking, "You've only…been dating like…seven months."

Sam sighed a little, "I know but…Blaine I love her, and if anything you having cancer taught me that I shouldn't be afraid to tell people that I love them."

"You also…shouldn't propose…because…you're scared...to lose...her."

Sam looked down, "I just want her to know that I love her."

"So tell…her that." He thought for a moment, "Sam do you…know why…I proposed…to Kurt?"

"Because he was the hottest guy besides me that you knew?" He laughed a little when Blaine glared at him.

"I knew…that he was…it for…me."

"Jackie could be it for me."

"I _knew_…he was." He put his hand on Sam's shoulder, "There's no…rush. When it's right…you'll know."

Sam nodded, "You're right. I think she's going to be the one though."

"I hope…she is." Blaine smiled.

"I wish you could be there to be my best man…" He looked down again.

"Me too."

"I'll check in on Kurt from time to time, take him to lunch and stuff, so don't worry."

Blaine looked at him, his barely there eyebrows raised a little, "Really?"

Sam looked at him at that, "Of course, that's what bros do for each other."

For the first time, Blaine's eyes misted over a little, "Thanks Sam." He sniffled, but laughed when Sam put out his fist to pound.

When Sam left the room, Blaine took off the oxygen mask knowing who would be coming in next. A few minutes passed before he heard multiple people coming down the hall and then Mollie led Kurt, Kyle and Max into the room. It was decided that this conversation would happen as a group because 1. Blaine was scared of having to tell Mollie he was dying soon alone, and 2. They thought it would be more comforting if they were all there together.

"Hey…Mollie!" He said as brightly as he could as she crawled up on the bed. They had skyped often since the move to Ohio, so she was familiar with how Blaine looked and sounded.

"Hi Uncle Blaine!" She sat next to him and smiled a little, "You look like you need a nap."

The adults all laughed, and Kurt took Blaine's hand from where he had taken Cooper's spot.

Max began the conversation that they had all talked about and agreed on the night before when they had arrived, "Mollie, remember we had talked about how Uncle Blaine was sick and that soon he would have to go and live in Heaven?"

"Like with the angels?" She asked her father, who was sitting next to her on the bed.

"Yep, with the angels, you remember we talked about that?"

She nodded her head.

"Well, we came here so that we could all give Uncle Blaine a big hug and tell him how much we love him because he's going to have to go soon."

She turned to look at Blaine with her big blue eyes, "I don't want you to go."

Kurt watched as Blaine stared at her, speechless with increasingly wet eyes, he squeezed his husband's hand.

"It's ok, Mollie, Uncle Blaine is going to have a lot of fun in Heaven and he'll look down on us and make sure that we're ok, right Uncle Blaine?" He asked softly.

Blaine looked to him and then back to Mollie, "Right." He smiled a little, "It's going…to be…great." His voice was strained by emotion, but the words were as upbeat as possible.

"But why don't you want to stay here with me?" Her chin began to wobble as tears started to fall from her eyes.

"I wish…I could." Blaine too now had tears falling down his face.

Mollie threw herself at Blaine and squeezed him as tightly as a four year old could, "Please don't go! Please!"

Blaine looked to Kurt, sadly, not knowing what to do, but then hugged Mollie back as tightly as he could, crying almost as much as the girl.

Kyle had tears running down his face and Max had placed an arm on his husband's shoulder. He looked at Kurt and nodded towards the door before they left the room.

Kurt stayed where he was, his hand still being held tightly by Blaine, and he tried to send comforting hand squeezes every so often. Mollie and Blaine both eventually stopped crying, and they were able again to speak.

"I don't…want to…leave you…ok honey? If it were…my choice I'd…pick to stay…and play dress…up with you…every day."

"Why do you have to go to Heaven?" Her bottom lip popped out to a pout.

"Because it's…my time to…but don't…worry about me…I will make…lots of…friends and…in one…hundred years…you'll come…to Heaven…and we…can play…dress up...every day."

"Every day!?" She perked up a little.

"Yep!" He smiled, but Kurt could tell it was strained.

"Ok! Daddy and Papa said to tell you I love you, so I love you and I'll see you in one hundred years!" She said brightly before hugging Blaine once again.

Kurt could see the emotion building back up in Blaine, "Hey Mollie, what do you say you go back into the living room so I can talk to Uncle Blaine for a little bit, ok?"

She nodded, kissed Blaine on the cheek and jumped off the bed and skipped out of the room.

Blaine began wiping at his eyes, "Sorry…I don't know…why suddenly…I'm so sad. I've been…fine lately."

Kurt moved off the bed and walked around to lie next to his husband. Unlike the others, however, he pulled Blaine to him and let him hold on and cry for a while. He rubbed Blaine's back and told him he loved him over and over again.

Eventually Blaine did stop crying, however they continued to lie wrapped together. After some time, Blaine broke the silence.

"I'm sorry…I'm dying." He sounded miserable.

Kurt just hugged him tighter, "What did you just say to Mollie? This is in no way your choice, I'd be offended if it was."

"Still…"

"I know." He kissed Blaine's head and they continued to just be together.

Later that night, Blaine did join the 'party'. He sat in his wheelchair at the dining room table and picked at some turkey, though he could not eat much, and later he laid with Mollie on Burt's recliner while _It's a Wonderful Life_ was played. By 9 pm, though, Blaine was ready for bed, and after saying good night to everyone, Kurt brought Blaine to bed.

Christmas Eve was the last good day that Blaine had.

The next morning, he struggled to get out of bed long enough to watch gifts be opened, and Kurt had to help him open his. He was in a great amount of pain, and the only thing that helped were the painkillers that knocked him out for hours at a time.

It was four days later, December 29th, that it happened.

* * *

Kurt woke up and looked at the clock, 3 am was shining green and he couldn't figure out why he had awoken. He didn't have a dream he could remember, he didn't need to use the restroom, and he wasn't hungry or thirsty. He stretched a little and looked around the guest room that now felt like home. A slight wheezing noise caught his attention and when he looked over, Blaine was laying on his side watching him quietly, the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose muffling the wheezing of his breaths a little.

Kurt turned towards him and placed a hand on his narrowed waist, rubbing his thumb back and forth, "Hey." He smiled, the moon outside creating enough light to see his features, the shine in his eyes.

"Hey." It, too, was muffled.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

Blaine shook his head a little but kept his eyes focused and intense on Kurt.

"Are you alright? Are you in pain? Do you need anything?"

He shook his head again and reached a tired, shaky hand up towards his face, slowly pulling at the oxygen mask. Kurt reached up and helped him move it from his face so it was resting against his neck.

"Better?"

"Yea…thank you."

The wheezing was louder now, more obvious, but Kurt could see that he wanted to say something.

"What is it honey?" He placed his hand on the top part of his neck so that his thumb was resting on Blaine's cheek, the skin on his face pulled taunt from the weight loss.

"I…" Tears pooled in his eyes but then he closed them, breaking eye contact for the first time. When he opened them again, the tears were gone and determination was there instead, "Kurt…I love…you." It was low and said between breaths.

He looked at Blaine for a moment. Really looked at him, and something about the way he said it; something about the look in his eyes. He knew. This was it. This was what they knew was coming for a while, but now it was here. He felt pain in his chest; the kind of pain that's so deep that you can feel it to your core, to your soul.

"I love you too, Blaine," He knew there should be tears. He knew there should be a long speech about how he couldn't live with out him. How he didn't want him to go and how he should keep fighting. He knew all of this, but none of it would come, "You've made me so happy."

All he could see was the pain Blaine was in everyday; the sadness and humiliation that lingered in his eyes when he or Carole or his father had to help him bathe or change him. He wanted a life with Blaine, of course he did, but he wanted a life that they could both enjoy; a life where they were happy and healthy, but this wouldn't be it.

Even if this wasn't the end, this wasn't what Kurt wanted for them, what he wanted for Blaine. He promised he would never say goodbye, but even though he didn't believe in God, he knew this wasn't goodbye for good, just for now,

"It's gonna be ok. You don't have to be scared." He rubbed his thumb back and forth soothingly.

Tears once again pooled in Blaine's eyes, "I'm scared…to leave…you. I…want you…to be happy."

Kurt smiled a little but tears finally found their way into his vision. He wiped a stray tear that fell from Blaine's eyes; "You don't have to be scared for me, either. I'm going to be _so sad_ that you're not here with me any more, that's true, but I have so many good memories, Blaine, so many. You have made my life so happy, so full, and I will be happy because I will be able to remember all the wonderful times we had."

A small sob left Blaine and his face contorted in pain, "I don't…want…to go."

Kurt moved closer to him, wrapping his arm around his waist once again and began rubbing up and down his back, feeling the protruding bones of his spine and ribs. He kissed every part of his face that he could, his forehead, his cheeks, chin, nose, and eyelids. He kissed away the tears that were falling. Finally, he kissed him on the lips, once, twice, a third time, before moving far enough back that he could see his face again and smiled sadly, "And I don't want you to go baby, but it's time isn't it?"

Another, weaker, sob left him.

"Shh…It's ok. You're ok, I'm ok. I'm here with you. You're not going to be alone."

The wheezing was getting louder so Kurt placed the mask back on his face, "Better?"

Blaine nodded a little, he looked weaker than he had in a long time, "Will you…hold me? I'm tired."

"Of course."

He helped Blaine turn over and then moved behind him, spooning him and holding him tightly, their left hands entwining, the gold of their rings touching.

"I love…you."

He smiled sadly, knowing it would be the last time he heard it from him, "I love you too, baby."

"Promise?" It was quiet but he heard it.

Kurt leaned forward and kissed the back of his neck before closing his eyes and squeezing just a little tighter, breathing in the smell of Blaine.

"Forever."

He held his husband to him closely and after a while, Blaine's breathing grew slower, more labored. Every so often he would kiss the back of his neck, remind him that he was there with him for this, that he wouldn't be alone in making this last journey, that he loved him more than anything.

It was a little after 4 am when Kurt felt him go. It was quiet and peaceful and he just held him a little tighter after he was gone. He knew that he would have to go to his father and Carole and tell them, that he would have to call the funeral home to begin the arrangements that were already set in place, make the calls to the people who would want to be there, who Blaine wanted to be there.

He knew he had to do it all, but for now, he was content with the knowledge that Blaine was ok, he was gone, but he was no longer in pain, and that he got to tell him that he loved him one last time and be told that he was loved in return.

He leaned forward one last time and kissed the neck that was already cooler to the touch of his lips, "I'll love you forever."

* * *

**Thank you again for reading! I hope you'll tell me what you thought!**


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